| | I can't believe we are already almost through the month of January, 2009! Things have been a little crazy around our house but I'm finally forcing myself to just take the time to write. Over the past 4 months or so, God has opened many doors for Jeremy and I to travel around our region of the U.S. to lead worship and teach and preach a little bit. I'm honestly having the time of my life! Yesterday, we were ministering in a church in New Mexico and the pastor quoted a sign that a Cardinal fan was holding up during the NFC championship game. The sign said, "We are who we thought we were."
Wow.
When I was around 4 or 5 years old. I remember sitting in Sunday School and hearing a Bible story about a little boy named Samuel. I listened to how his mother had been barren and how she desperately longed to be a mother. I listened to how this woman went and prayed silently in the temple with SO much passion and with such urgency (yet silently... only moving her lips) that Eli (the priest) thought she was drunk. The story goes on to say that Hannah finally conceived a son and named him Samuel and when she had weaned him, she took him to the temple and told Eli that since God had answered her prayer and given her a son, she in turn, was giving Samuel back to the Lord and wanted him to serve in the temple. While Samuel was still a young boy, God began speaking to him and Samuel became a prophet of the Lord. I remember sitting in my chair that Sunday morning and thinking, "If God talked to a little boy way back then... I know He can talk to me." I was taught at a very young age to start listening for the voice of God. I first heard His voice on a Sunday evening at church when I was 6 years old. He was telling me how much He loved me and He drew me to Himself. I began my relationship with Him that night. I realized very quickly that God really likes to talk... if we will just listen.
One night when I was 12 years old, I was sitting on my bed reading a book right before I climbed under the covers to sleep. I heard (not audibly, but very distinctly), "Sandy." It took me a few moments to understand what was happening. But I remembered what my Sunday School teacher had taught me that one Sunday morning. She had said that if we ever heard that voice, that we were to be just like Samuel and respond to it. I did. I won't go into detail about what all He spoke to me that night, but needless to say, the things He said have shaped my life dramatically. I'm still following the words that were spoken to me that night.
As I've grown up, that childlike faith began to get squashed. I began to realize that not everyone thought God could still speak to them. Then I found out that women weren't really allowed to be in ministry other than nursery work or teaching a children's Sunday School class. I didn't fit the mold of what a "minister" looked like and I most certainly wasn't old enough. However, I had a pastor's wife who saw me for what I was. She recognized something about me and she took me and raised me up. She was the choir director in my church at the time. She broke through all of the "red tape" and allowed me to become part of the adult sanctuary choir at the age of 12. Back then, choir robes were a must and I remember how my choir robe literally hung on me. Unlike everyone else, I had a TRAIN on my choir robe! LOL This was also around the time when there was a shift from having a "song leader" to having a "praise team". Sure enough, I was invited to help lead worship as a 13 year old little girl. I've been doing that ever since. I laugh because I have had so many people look at me and ask, "So. How long have you been leading worship?" And I know they think I'm lying when I say, "24 years." I have known most of my life that God had big plans for me. He has trained me and given me the ability and experience to do what I do as far as teaching and leading and all that goes along with that. But there have always been people along the way who have made me question whether I actually did hear from God. I've been told that women can't do what I do. I've been told to shut my mouth on more than one occasion (and believe me, I have a hard enough time speaking up because I would much rather be on the sidelines than in the spotlight). My parents have been confronted and told to tell me to shut up. My husband has been told to get a handle on me. It's been quite an adventure.
This past week, I have just come to the conclusion that I have been called by God. I have tried to temper it. I've tried to back away from it. I've tried to stifle it. I have wanted people to accept me and be comfortable around me. And I have been perfectly miserable. I have had a choice in the matter. I could continue to wither back and just deny any of it ever happened OR I can step into it regardless of what people think and say. I've made a choice. I know what I've experienced. I know who I am. And so, the sign that I would like to hold up is, "I am who I thought I was." Guess what? So are you! Here's your sign.
Live Life Loud!
|
| | Posted 1/26/2009 3:08 PM - 10 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
